Relationships are hard. That’s the simple truth. They are complicated, sometimes painful, and a lot of work. Despite all this, most teenagers can’t wait to jump right in and get a boyfriend of girlfriend. Teens love to act like they know exactly what they are doing when it comes to dating, but the truth is they’re just starting to figure it all out. If dating is hard for conditioned adults, imagine the difficulties rookie teens face. We teens need help. So why not ask our advisors, mentors, and teachers to teach us a few things about dating? They’ve “been there, done that” and have a great deal to share with newcomers to the wild world of love.

The 21st Century Meets Dating

Teens today are the first generation that have to blend social media into their relationships. Not only do the usual problems in relationships still exist, but teens now have to worry about a loss of privacy, increase in jealousy, and overexposure to their partner through social media. To those of us who rely on texting for the majority of our communication, Mrs. Kay advises: “Don’t have a serious discussion over text… your tone is never read the right way.” Feelings can be hurt and arguments can start up where they didn’t need to when you resort to texting difficult information. As Mrs. Kay put it, “Technology is great… but not in the dating world.”

Let it Be

“If people who connect profoundly at one point in their lives are meant to be together in long term, they will be,” Ms. Frierson believes. It takes a leap of faith, but if it’s meant to be, it will be. No breakup is ever the end of the world, though it can feel that way. Truthfully, good things sometimes need to end to make way for better things. As cliché as it sounds, there are other fish in the sea. Maybe in another year you will look back on your first heartbreak and smile because without it, you never could have moved on to greater things.

Take It Easy

“Don’t take life so seriously,” Mrs. Kay suggests. “The things I thought were a huge deal really weren’t if I just took a step back.” She pointed out that marrying high school boyfriends or girlfriends is a very rare occurrence. Some teens treat every fling as though it is the most important thing in their life and fail to remember that it’s just high school. Take Mrs. Kay’s advice and “Enjoy it.” Dating in your teen years is more about getting to know yourself and having new experiences, than finding your soul mate. “Be yourself and don’t turn into someone else because you feel like you have to in order to make someone else happy,” Mrs. Kay advises.

Make Friends

“There were times during my high school years that I felt cursed, because I was always in the ‘friend zone,’ and wasn’t landing those ‘bell crickets’ (shout out to Tyree English sophomores)”, Mr. Tyree shares. But later on, that same “curse” transformed into a blessing for Mr. Tyree. “When I got to college, I realized that I had an advantage, because I had spent my high school years conversing and being in meaningful friendships with girls, not just dating them.” Mr. Tyree’s experience is further proof that when in high school it can be difficult to see the big picture and the benefits in things that appear to be obstacles. Mrs. Kay also recommends: “don’t ditch your friends if you do get involved with someone.” While most romantic relationships come and go, good friends are there for a lifetime. Don’t push them aside as less important than your significant other, because they aren’t!

Sleep

Bearing extremely practical advice, Ms. Verdickt says: “Don’t sacrifice sleep!” In order to accomplish this, she suggests: “Turn your phone on silent once you’re in bed, and resist the urge to perpetually check if your crush has written back!” Sleep is vital to success in every category, even your love life. They don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing!

Stop Obsessing

“It’s actually fine if you don’t date a lot of people in high school, or achieve status as the ‘person to date’,” Mr. Tyree assures. Ms. Frierson shares a similar view, saying: “It doesn’t work to focus on finding Mr. or Ms. Right or to judge yourself by whether or not you are in a romantic relationship.” “You should live your life, follow your passions, get involved in lots of activities that are meaningful to you- and somewhere in there, you will find the people who are meant to be your significant friends and/or life partners.”

Listen to Yourself

You can listen to as much advice as you want, but in the end it’s you who knows yourself best. Ms. White suggests: “Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right at any point, listen to that voice.” Unfortunately, dating in your teen years can stick you in difficult situations you may not be prepared to deal with. The best judge in these situations is yourself. If something feels wrong, it is wrong. Relationships should be fun. You never have to feel wrong or uncomfortable in a relationship. If you do? End it.

High school years have their ups and downs. They are full of new experiences, new sorrows, and new joys. My personal favorite motto is: “Just keep swimming” from Finding Nemo. Some things are going to be fun and amazing, others are going to be tremendously difficult. You just have to “keep swimming” and things will inevitably get better. Experience your high school years and try not to get sucked into the stress and drama the dating world can provide you with.